Minimize Painful Experiences
Painful experiences range from subtle discomfort to extreme anguish – and there is a place for them. Sorrow can open the heart.
Painful experiences range from subtle discomfort to extreme anguish – and there is a place for them. Sorrow can open the heart.
It is important to feel good as often as possible, at least several times a day. Stop the urgency of the day and let quiet fill the air, let thoughts slow down. There is presence in this moment, and no worries about the future.
If you can’t say “no” – to others, and yourself – then your “yesses” will lose their meaning and power. The “freedom not to” gives you a feeling of ease.
Are the rewards of new commitments really worth the costs? Sometimes you have to give up the lesser rewards of a new thing for the greater rewards of allowing some new space to clear in your life.
Anger can alert you to threats, but also harm your health and relationships. In small and passing quantities, anger can be like medicine, but in large and lasting quantities it poisons the mind and relationships.
Our minds are hauled along in a culture without a speed limit – exceeding the limit, and there is always a price. Pulling out of the mental traffic, it’s an act of freedom and wisdom.
R.A.I.N. is an acronym developed by Michelle McDonald but adapted a bit by me, to summarize a powerful way to expand self-awareness.
In a busy life, each day gives you dozens of opportunities to leave the Red zone and move toward Green. Each time you do this, you gradually strengthen the neural substrates of Green, one synapse at a time.
Be mindful of rushing. See how other people assume deadlines that aren’t actually real, or feel pressured about things that aren’t that important.
Sometimes when inner practices fail you, it helps to change the channel. A respite or some sort of pleasure will help to refuel you for challenges.
The pressure activates motivational circuits but has inherent collateral damage. Pressure activates ancient motivational circuits that were very effective in keeping our ancestors alive but even at best, there is an inherent collateral damage.
Encourage your mind to come to rest at least occasionally. Tell the truth to yourself about how much time you actually – other than sleep.
You can open to a sense of freedom and autonomy where you get to decide what you could stop doing and lighten up.