Give No One Cause to Fear You
Much of the time the fear we trigger in others is mild but people can feel threatened by stimuli they’re not actually aware of.
Much of the time the fear we trigger in others is mild but people can feel threatened by stimuli they’re not actually aware of.
There are two wolves in ones heart, a wolf of hate and a wolf of love. The wolf of hate breeds alienation and conflict with others. The wolf of love is fed with our hearts, hope and by our sense of what’s good.
Clinging is never relaxed and has a sense of strain. As you cling less, it becomes natural for one to lighten up, have more compassion and forgive.
Ask questions – it’s one of the best ways to listen well. It shows you’re paying attention, it gets things out in the open and it slows emotional conversations.
Be aware of wanting inside your own mind. List wholesome wants that you would like to pursue more. Your wholesome wants will help crowd out the unwholesome ones.
Wherever you find stillness enjoy it and let it feed you. Stillness is a source of clarity and peace. In stillness, you can find a refuge and some quiet amidst the noise. Give yourself the space, the permission, to be still in your mind.
Good lifts the heart and can turn passing experiences into lasting resources. Recognize the relative stability of good things. Enjoy it all. The more we recognize impermanence, the more we can take refuge in the good that lasts.
What can you do when you’re shaken? Find your ground. It’s clear that we all need a place to stand. A physical place to be sure – hearth and home, land and sea, a bed to curl up in – but also psychological or spiritual places, such as feeling loved, a calm clear center inside
It is important to feel good as often as possible, at least several times a day. Stop the urgency of the day and let quiet fill the air, let thoughts slow down. There is presence in this moment, and no worries about the future.
Forgiveness frees you from the tangles of anger and retribution. Appreciate the value of forgiveness. Ask yourself: what does my grievance, my resentment, cost me? Cost others I care about? What would it be like to lay those burdens down?
If you can’t say “no” – to others, and yourself – then your “yesses” will lose their meaning and power. The “freedom not to” gives you a feeling of ease.
When you open to the whole of your experience you feel more at home in yourself. With moments of practice that add up over time, you feel more like a whole person, less fragmented. As this happens, you feel more fed and fulfilled – and more connected, more entwined with the world as whole.
Enjoy healthy self-control, a centered enjoyment of life, and inner freedom. Think of sobriety in terms of the big picture, and in the context of a life well-lived. Sobriety is a gain – of health, self-respect, unclouded mind, peace with others and bliss.
“Peace” can sound sentimental or clichéd but it’s what most of us long for. When you experience peace, enjoy it, let it sink into you, weaving its way into your brain so it increasingly becomes the habit of your mind.
Conflicts with others are a normal part of life. But if we do this while swept away by anger, that’s not good for us or others.