When the body is not disturbed by hunger, thirst, pain, or illness, and when the mind is not disturbed by threat, frustration, or rejection, then most people settle into their resting state, which is our “home base” – our fundamental nature as human beings.
Your body and mind want to come home: that’s where energy is conserved for the marathon of life. Try this practice to help yourself come home more naturally.
When you give more to yourself, you have more to offer others.
Perhaps the most powerful tool for your mental health – and certainly for the health of your relationships – is to speak truly.
It’s normal to feel shocked, frozen, frightened, or outraged. But here are four fundamental strengths to help us feel and function better in difficult times.
Craving is pointless; the truth is there’s always an underlying fullness already. While the truth of futility is that it is hopeless to crave, the truth of fullness is that craving is unnecessary. Â
It’s one thing to stick up for yourself & others. It’s a different matter to get caught up in wrangles, contentiousness – in a word: quarrels.
When you feel fed – physically, emotionally, conceptually – you naturally let go of longing, disappointment, frustration, and craving. The hungry heart gets a full meal; goals are attained and the striving for them relaxes; one feels lifted by life as it is. What a relief!
Feeling fed also helps you enjoy positive emotions such as pleasure, contentment, accomplishment, ease, and worth. As researchers have shown, these good feelings reduce stress, help people bounce back from illness and loss, strengthen resilience, draw attention to the big picture, and build inner resources. And when your own cup runneth over, studies have found that you’re more inclined to give to others; feeling good helps you do good.
Liking feels good, and it encourages us to approach and engage the world. We’re wired to like some things, but our liking or disliking depends greatly on what we pay attention to and our own perspective.
Since it’s always now, now is eternal. The present moment is continually passing away, so relax and be open to this moment. Not planning, not worrying, not lost in thought.
The tree or the forest? See the big picture. The vast majority of human acts each day are constructive: making meals, tending to children, saying hello, restraining anger, completing tasks, planting seeds, teaching, healing, nurturing, cooperating
Try to understand what causes you to feel fault, resolve it and move on. Inner criticism tears you down. Commit to skillful corrections. Take a big breath and very deliberately name to yourself three strengths or virtues you have and let them sink in.
Liking feels good, it encourages us to approach and engage the world. Know what benevolence feels like in your body, heart, and mind, and realize that it is natural and normal. Appreciate some of the benevolence that buoys you along. Most people are fair-minded, empathic, cooperative, compassionate, and kind: in a word, benevolent.
See the good in others—it’s a simple but very powerful way to feel happier and more confident and become more loving.
Discover the newly written preface to the 15th anniversary edition of Buddha’s Brain—a heartfelt look at the book’s origins and its enduring impact.
Imagine being aware of the surface behavior of the people around you but oblivious to their inner life while they remain unmoved by your own.