Ask Questions
Ask questions – it’s one of the best ways to listen well. It shows you’re paying attention, it gets things out in the open and it slows emotional conversations.
Forgive
Forgiveness frees you from the tangles of anger and retribution. Appreciate the value of forgiveness. Ask yourself: what does my grievance, my resentment, cost me? Cost others I care about? What would it be like to lay those burdens down?
Don’t Rain On The Parade
Are you too quick with doubt, limitations, cost analyses, reasons why not? If you pour cold water over your hopes and dreams, you’ll never know the warmth and light that might spread if you’d let them catch fire.
Give Them What They Want
It’s easy to give someone what they want. It is a matter of what you want to give. It can be stressful when others want things from you. There’s a sweet spot from which you can respond with both compassion and ease.
Drop The Case
Enjoy the good feelings and other rewards of dropping your case. Set down the case, like plopping down a heavy suitcase. Enjoy the feelings, the spaciousness of mind, openness of heart, inner freedom, and other rewards of dropping your case.
Try a Softer Tone
There are three elements of tone: 1) Explicit content 2) Emotional subtext 3) Implicit statement about the nature of the relationship.
Turn Anger into a Peaceful Heart
3 things to help guide you to find peace: Stop Things from Building Up, Understand What’s Making You Angry, Find Key Ways to Turn Anger into a Peaceful Heart
Stay Right When You’re Wronged
Blasting another person with anger is like throwing hot coals with bare hands: both people get burned. Speak calmly and from your heart, even when wronged.
Be Friendly
Friendliness is a down-to-earth approach that is welcoming and positive. Being friendly feels confident and happy, with a positive take on other people, moving toward the world instead of backing away from it.