So often in relationships, our best intentions get tangled up—we mean to connect, but instead find ourselves stuck in old stories, avoiding discomfort, or holding on too tight. This talk with guest teacher Diana Hill explores the heart of wise effort: how to bring your strengths and “genius qualities” into relationships without slipping into their near enemies. The invitation is to get curious about what you uniquely offer, recognize what pulls you off track, and return to your deepest values in love and connection.

Also, check out the meditation on Breathing In Positive Relationship Energy.

Click here to join the free Wednesday Meditations – which are open to everyone!

Talk: Wise Effort in Relationships: 3 Blocks to Being a Positive Energizer

Timecodes & main topics:

• 01:00 – What is “wise effort” in relationships
• 03:00 – Curiosity as the foundation of wise effort
• 07:00 – Lessons from nature and trees about relationship energy
• 12:00 – Positive energizers and the science of relational energy
• 19:00 – Practical exercises for sensing and shifting your energy
• 24:00 – Illuminators vs. diminishers in relationships
• 28:00 – Discovering your unique “genius qualities”
• 31:00 – When your genius becomes a problem (near enemies)
• 35:00 – Three pitfalls of unwise effort: stories, avoidance, clinging
• 41:30 – Choice points for returning to strengths and values

A Meditation: Breathing In Positive Relationship Energy

Diana Hill, PhD, is a clinical psychologist, international trainer, and sought-out speaker on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and compassion. She is author of the upcoming book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy Where It Matters Most, with foreword by Rick Hanson. Diana works with organizations and individuals to develop psychological flexibility so that they can grow fulfilling and impactful lives.

If you’d like to go deeper with Diana and other leaders in the ACT community, she’ll also be teaching at the upcoming ACT BootCamp in Reno, Jan 8–11, 2026, alongside Steve Hayes, Robyn Walser, and Miranda Morris. Four days of immersive training in process-based therapy — you can learn more here: ACT BootCamp Reno.