What should we do when we get triggered — especially by other people? When we get “plugged in” — suddenly reactive, upset, or overwhelmed — it can feel like something has gone wrong inside us or between us and others.
The good news is that we can be skillful with reactivity: taking responsibility for our inner experience, staying connected to others with integrity, and finding increasing freedom through focused attention, open awareness, and deep acceptance.
In this talk, I talk about how mindfulness, focused attention, open awareness, and non-clinging help us manage reactivity, reduce rumination, and relate more wisely to ourselves and others.
Click here to join the free Wednesday Meditations – which are open to everyone!
Talk: Using Mindfulness When You’re Triggered
Timecodes & main topics:
- 00:00 – Reactivation and stress responses — including fawning/appeasing — and why they arise
- 02:16 – Right speech, unilateral virtue, and navigating impact vs. intent
- 06:17 – When others are triggered: personal responsibility vs. asking others to change
- 09:22 – What mindfulness actually is (and isn’t): sustained present-moment awareness
- 14:01 – The Satipaṭṭhāna instructions: diligence, clear knowing, and non-clinging
- 21:50 – Focused attention vs. open awareness — and when each is helpful
- 28:21 – From steadying the mind to opening and freeing it
- 36:30 – Emptiness, love, and the deep freedom of being “lived by all things”
A Meditation: Feeling Grounded, Peaceful, and Openhearted
When you’re feeling triggered, reactive, or on edge, this guided meditation helps you settle the nervous system and come back to a sense of basic okay-ness. We ground in the body, soothe the “soft animal” within, and gently quiet mental chatter through breath and sensation. From there, we use awareness to open to the heart, allowing kindness and calm to replace bracing and defensiveness—so experiences can flow through without overwhelming you.
