What to Do When the Bottom Falls Out
It’s normal to feel shocked, frozen, frightened, or outraged. But here are four fundamental strengths to help us feel and function better in difficult times.
Minimize Painful Experiences
Painful experiences range from subtle discomfort to extreme anguish – and there is a place for them. Sorrow can open the heart.
Take Heart
What do you do when the bottom falls out? Take heart. By “taking heart,” I mean several related things: Sensing your heart and chest, finding encouragement in what is good both around you and inside you, resting in your own warmth, compassion, and
Don’t Be Intimidated
Humans are vulnerable to being alarmed, manipulated, and even intimidated by threats, both real ones and “paper tigers.” Understanding how your brain became so vigilant and wary, and so easily hijacked by alarm, is the first step toward gaining more control over that ancient circuitry and is less rattled or distracted by exaggerated, manageable, or false alarms.
Let Things Change
We have a choice: we can let things change and do what we can, or we can fight it and likely end up feeling even worse.
Receive Faces
Understanding facial expression gives us a chance to feel connected to others. Try to open to and receive the faces of others.
One Breath at a Time
To know yourself more deeply, track the breath inside yourself. Inhale, oxygen surges into your brain and activates and accelerates the heartbeat. Exhale, you activate the soothing peaceful nervous system. In the breath you are home in this moment, this Now.
Have Compassion
To have compassion is to have the wish that beings not suffer combined with feelings of sympathetic concern.
Give No One Cause to Fear You
Much of the time the fear we trigger in others is mild but people can feel threatened by stimuli they’re not actually aware of.
Feed the Wolf of Love
There are two wolves in ones heart, a wolf of hate and a wolf of love. The wolf of hate breeds alienation and conflict with others. The wolf of love is fed with our hearts, hope and by our sense of what’s good.
Vote
Sometimes it’s natural to feel stunned, shocked, powerless. And natural to be flooded with rage or fear or an overwhelming sorrow. Still, even in the midst of all this, you can be mindful: aware and present, and not entirely swept away. Then at some point, you take a breath and look around and try to figure out what to do. One thing to do is to vote.
Cling Less, Love More
Clinging is never relaxed and has a sense of strain. As you cling less, it becomes natural for one to lighten up, have more compassion and forgive.
Ask Questions
Ask questions – it’s one of the best ways to listen well. It shows you’re paying attention, it gets things out in the open and it slows emotional conversations.
Hold Wants Lightly
Be aware of wanting inside your own mind. List wholesome wants that you would like to pursue more. Your wholesome wants will help crowd out the unwholesome ones.
Find Stillness
Wherever you find stillness enjoy it and let it feed you. Stillness is a source of clarity and peace. In stillness, you can find a refuge and some quiet amidst the noise. Give yourself the space, the permission, to be still in your mind.