In this episode of the Being Well Podcast, Forrest Hanson talks with evolutionary psychologist Dr. Bill von Hippel about a central paradox of modern life: life today is safer and more comfortable than ever before, so why do so many people feel unhappy, lonely, and anxious? Dr. Bill von Hippel explains this disconnect based on our two evolved core needs – autonomy and connection. He argues that modern life has pushed us too far in the direction of autonomy, and that we need to reclaim our sense of connection in order to find happiness.
They discuss how our evolutionary past shaped our needs for autonomy and connection, the tension between them, and why social connection matters so much for our well-being. They also touch on gender and cultural differences, common misunderstandings about evolutionary psychology, and what people can do to create more balanced and connected lives today.
About our Guest: Dr. Bill von Hippel is an evolutionary psychologist and former professor at the University of Queensland. He has authored over 150 scientific publications including his books The Social Leap and The Social Paradox.
Key Topics
- 0:00: Dr. Bill von Hippel on why modern life has not made us happier
- 3:20: The evolution of autonomy and connection
- 10:15: How modern life favors autonomy over connection
- 18:10: “Sad success stories,” and the cost of competence
- 20:00: Competence vs warmth as social signals
- 26:00: Evolutionary mismatch, and its impact on well-being
- 29:00: How to understand evolutionary psychology
- 34:00: Evolved gender differences in autonomy and connection
- 42:00: Balancing sociocultural and evolutionary differences
- 49:00: What do those gender differences look like in practice?
- 55:50: Finding a healthy balance between autonomy and connection
- 1:08:55: Recap
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
