Why is it so hard for us to do what we actually want to do? In this episode of the Being Well Podcast, Forrest explains the hidden structure of self-abandonment: how shame drives the loop, how the loop produces more shame, and how the inner critic uses a “can’t win” situation to keep us stuck. Then he and Dr. Rick explore what actually breaks the cycle, including the role of anger, the difference between shame and grief, self-compassion, and what it really means to get on your own side.
Key Topics
- 0:00: Intro and overview of self-abandonment
- 4:38: What’s the value-add of self-abandonment as a concept?
- 8:30: The behavioral loop of self-abandonment
- 21:55: How a parts model can help us understand the shame
- 26:20: The double-bind of self-criticism
- 32:56: How to get out of this double-bind
- 41:34: Anger and resentment
- 49:47: Moving from shame to grief
- 56:15: Breaking out of the self-abandonment loop
- 1:10:22: Recap
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
