What gets in the way of truly intimate, healthy relationships…and what can we do about it? In this moving episode of the Being Well Podcast, Forrest is joined by renowned couples therapist Terry Real to explore how we can get past our conditioning and build deeper, more meaningful connections. They unpack key concepts from Relational Life Therapy, including the shift from “me” to “us,” the difference between the adaptive child and wise adult, and how to stay grounded during conflict through relational mindfulness.
Terry explains how individualism and patriarchal conditioning fuel disconnection, and how therapy can help couples move from power struggles to true collaboration. A highlight of the episode is a live experiential process, where Terry guides Forrest through inner child work. Along the way, they explore fierce intimacy, trauma, the value of speaking subjectively, and how early survival strategies can become barriers to closeness.
About our Guest: Terry Real is a family therapist, speaker, and bestselling author known for his groundbreaking work on men, masculinity, and relationships. He is the founder of Relational Life Therapy (RLT) and the author of several books including The New Rules of Marriage and Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.
Rick’s Change Your Mind Course: Learn how to break old scripts, get some space around self-doubting thoughts, and act in a new way. Six-week course starts June 21, learn more about it at RickHanson.com/changing. Use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive 25% off.
Key Topics
- 0:00: Introduction
- 1:34: Systemic thinking in therapy, and the cultural forces that shape relationships
- 10:10: Cultural norms, and how they subvert deeper happiness
- 12:58: The Adaptive Child, Wise Adult, and how internal parts shape how we relate
- 17:13: How to pause, reset, and remember love during conflict
- 27:12: Fierce intimacy: why telling the truth is more loving than being “nice”
- 31:16: The losing strategies that damage connection
- 46:28: Experiential process: Terry guides Forrest through inner child work
- 52:07: How patriarchal norms distort emotional connection for men
- 57:58: Relational mindfulness
- 1:06:24: Recap
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
