We’ve received a substantial number of questions from our listeners regarding familial estrangement – when one family member distances themselves from the others, or chooses not to interact with them at all.
It’s a common and extremely challenging situation, and the pain related to it can be particularly intense during the holidays.
Today on Being Well, Forrest and I discuss family estrangement, particularly between parents and children, and how the questions we engage in this territory apply more broadly to how we balance our own boundaries with the responsibilities we have toward other people.
Key Topics:
- 0:00: Introduction
- 3:05: Our framework for discussing estrangement in this episode
- 6:10: Joining and distancing
- 9:40: Duties in relationship between children and aging parents
- 15:35: Parents’ behavior then vs. now
- 19:00: Distinguishing family systems from parents as individuals
- 24:10: Functional forgiveness when someone doesn’t show remorse
- 26:45: Choosing the kind of relationship we want to have
- 31:45: Parents’ pain when children distance
- 33:40: How parents can consider the child’s perspective
- 39:40: Grieving an estranged relationship internally
- 45:30: Approaches to interacting with estranged children
- 52:30: How to decide whether or not to engage in a relationship
- 55:10: Awareness of cultural influences
- 57:20: Ownership and what parents can do to repair
- 1:03:00: The wide range of variables influencing family relationships
- 1:07:00: Wishing well regardless of circumstances
- 1:09:30: Recap
