All of our relationships include some conflict, the big question is how skillfully we handle that conflict when it appears. On this episode of the Being Well Podcast, Dr. Rick Hanson joins Forrest to walk us through some effective ways to navigate common arguments.
They explore the four common structures of relationship disagreements, the subtle ways power shows up in our relationships, separating content from process, and how to stand your ground.
The material from this episode comes in part from Rick’s new book Making Great Relationships: Simple Practices for Solving Conflicts, Building Connection, and Fostering Love. You can find it wherever books are sold.
Key Topics:
- 0:00: Introduction and Rick’s new book
- 1:25: Common conflicts Rick has seen in couples counseling
- 3:40: The importance of the way something is said
- 8:10: Disentangling tone from content
- 9:45: Distinguishing intent from impact
- 12:10: The unconscious functions of conflict
- 17:50: Navigating differences in temperament, and cultivating enthusiasm
- 25:05: Power tripping, control, and misinterpretation
- 29:50: Primate politics, escalation, and identifying what’s really happening
- 35:45: Trust
- 39:15: How much are we willing to tolerate?
- 41:10: Dealing with entitlement, and when to push back
- 43:40: People’s capacity to change, balancing harmony and truth
- 46:10: Focus on communicating for yourself
- 49:05: Recap
