Protect your peace, set boundaries, don’t let people drain your energy…there’s a lot of advice like that, and it’s easy to take it a little too far. In this episode of the Being Well Podcast, therapist and bestselling author Nedra Glover Tawwab joins Forrest to discuss the unintended consequences of the boundaries movement.
They talk about how the helpful concept of boundaries led some toward isolation and rigid expectations, and focus on healthy dependency as an alternative. Nedra explains the spectrum of dependency from codependency to hyper-independence, why your attachment style is more flexible than you think, and how the stories we tell about ourselves become self-fulfilling. Throughout, they focus on developing key aspects of healthy dependency: being able to ask for help, receive support, tolerate distance, feel comfortable in closeness, and repair after conflict.
About our Guest: Nedra Glover Tawwab is a licensed therapist, relationship expert, and best-selling author with over 2 million followers on social media. Her new book is The Balancing Act: Creating Healthy Dependency and Connection Without Losing Yourself.
Key Topics
- 0:00: Intro: Misconceptions around boundaries
- 7:14: What we get wrong about codependency
- 11:13: The consequences of individualism
- 15:00: How this all relates to attachment styles
- 20:03: Personal narratives and self-concept
- 24:50: Opposite action vs. trusting your gut
- 27:46: Developing self-awareness around your tendencies
- 34:42: Navigating distance and boundaries in relationships
- 44:30: Showing up for friends in difficult relationships
- 52:50: How to be in imperfect relationships
- 55:51: How to move out of the shallow zone in relationships
- 1:07:20: Recap
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
