Forrest and Dr. Rick tackle the tricky topic of how to deal with other people’s psychological defenses. It’s often easier to see other people’s defenses than to see our own, which can make them particularly frustrating to deal with. In this episode of the Being Well Podcast, Rick and Forrest explore the psychological and communication skills that will allow you to have more successful conversations.
They start with a quick summary of what psychological defenses are and how they operate, before talking about recognizing our biases, showing empathy, and establishing a productive tone. Rick explains how to break the cycle of counterattacks that can happen when people get defensive, and how to balance different needs for closeness and distance. Topics include effective communication skills, moving from criticism toward values, managing frustration, and helping other people become more self-aware.
Key Topics:
- 0:00: Introduction, psychological defenses recap
- 3:40: Why can’t we see other people’s defenses?
- 10:35: Recognizing our own vulnerabilities, and showing empathy
- 14:20: Setting the tone
- 20:10: Disrupting the cycle of counterattacks
- 24:20: Approaching differing needs for closeness and distance
- 31:15: Joining with empathy before escalating requests
- 38:55: A mutual orientation toward growth
- 41:45: Seeing openings for dialog when they present themselves
- 43:40: Basing dialog around values vs. criticism
- 47:40: Managing frustration
- 53:25: Is there any way to help others become more self-aware?
- 1:01:35: Recap
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
