Just One Thing
Simple Practices from Dr. Rick Hanson
Interpersonal Skills
Don’t Quarrel
It’s one thing to stick up for yourself & others. It’s a different matter to get caught up in wrangles, contentiousness – in a word: quarrels.
Tune Into Others
Imagine being aware of the surface behavior of the people around you but oblivious to their inner life while they remain unmoved by your own.
Speak From The Heart
Speaking from an open heart can seem so vulnerable yet be the strongest move of all. Naming the truth has great moral force.
Relax, You’re Going to be Criticized
Criticism is unavoidable. Sometimes we take being criticized with good grace, other times it stings, and sometimes both are true. Here are some tips for accepting criticism, learning what you can from it, and moving on.
Don’t Be Intimidated
Humans are vulnerable to being alarmed, manipulated, and even intimidated by threats, both real ones and “paper tigers.” Understanding how your brain became so vigilant and wary, and so easily hijacked by alarm, is the first step toward gaining more control over that ancient circuitry and is less rattled or distracted by exaggerated, manageable, or false alarms.
Forgive
Forgiveness frees you from the tangles of anger and retribution. Appreciate the value of forgiveness. Ask yourself: what does my grievance, my resentment, cost me? Cost others I care about? What would it be like to lay those burdens down?
Love Someone
What can you do when there’s nothing you can do? Love Someone. Sometimes something happens. Perhaps your cat takes a turn for the worse, there’s a money problem, or it’s on a larger scale: maybe there’s been an election and you’re grappling with its
Drop Tart Tone
People are more sensitive to tone. To paraphrase the poet Maya Angelou, people will forget what you said, but they’ll remember how you made them feel.
Transform Ill Will
Goodwill and ill will are about intention: the will is for good or ill. Ill will creates negative, vicious cycles. But that means that good will can create positive cycles. Plus good will cultivates wholesome qualities in you.
See Your Part
Acknowledging one’s own part in a difficult situation is one of the hardest – and I think most honorable – things a person can do.