Just One Thing
Simple Practices from Dr. Rick Hanson
Foundations of Relationships
Recognize Suffering in Others
Where does it hurt? The practice: Recognize suffering in others. We’re usually aware of our own suffering, but seeing the suffering in others: that’s not so common. All the news and pictures of disaster, murder, and grief that bombard us each day
See Beings, Not Bodies
When we encounter someone, the mind summarizes and simplifies tons of details. Though fast and efficient this process has lots of problems. As our ancestors evolved, rapid sorting of friend or foe was very useful but is it still.
Receive Faces
Understanding facial expression gives us a chance to feel connected to others. Try to open to and receive the faces of others.
Have Compassion
To have compassion is to have the wish that beings not suffer combined with feelings of sympathetic concern.
Give No One Cause to Fear You
Much of the time the fear we trigger in others is mild but people can feel threatened by stimuli they’re not actually aware of.
Feed the Wolf of Love
There are two wolves in ones heart, a wolf of hate and a wolf of love. The wolf of hate breeds alienation and conflict with others. The wolf of love is fed with our hearts, hope and by our sense of what’s good.
Relax Needless Fear Around Others
People don’t care what you’re doing – you are just a bit player in their own personal drama. Or if they do care, it’s a passing feeling.
Love Freely
Love is in our nature, woven into our DNA. Love is a natural wellspring inside us all. It doesn’t need to be pushed or pumped. It needs to be released.
Cultivate Goodwill
Ill will creates negative qualities, whereas goodwill creates positive qualities. As a social and loving species on the planet, we have the wonderful ability and inclination to connect with others, be empathic. But we are also aggressive.
See Deep Wants
When deeper wants are recognized one feels seen and less likely to be reactive. See deep wants is understanding what someone may want and giving them an alternative offering which may reduce negative emotion and increased cooperation.