When you feel alone with your worries, disconnected from others, or burdened by old patterns you can’t seem to shake, it’s easy to think you’re supposed to handle everything by yourself. But science — and deep wisdom traditions — show that feeling genuinely supported is not a luxury; it’s essential for resilience, healing, and well-being. In this talk, we explore how to recognize and receive the social support already around you, and how to strengthen it inside your own mind.
Click here to join the free Wednesday Meditations – which are open to everyone!
Talk: Science Says You Need Social Support
Paper: How Does Perceived Social Support Relate to Human Thriving?
A Systematic Review With Meta-Analyses
Timecodes & main topics:
- 0:00 — Training the Mind to Receive Support
Not too tight, not too loose: how to “train the mind” to become more open, resilient, and receptive to the good around you. - 2:28 — Turning Knowing Into Feeling
Why simply knowing you’re supported isn’t enough — and how to let supportive facts become embodied experiences. - 4:38 — From Passing State to Lasting Inner Strength
Installing those experiences so you truly feel supported as an ongoing trait, not just a momentary state. - 6:08 — Trauma, Attachment, and Social Support
How early experiences can make support hard to trust — and what realistic healing looks like decades later. - 15:40 — Support While Facing Mortality
A heartfelt reflection on meeting fear, sadness, and uncertainty with steadiness, allowing, and a deeper ground of well-being. - 26:22 — Reality vs. Story: The Narratives That Block Support
How getting caught in your mental stories can obscure the actual support available right now. - 31:01 — Science Says: The Meta-Analysis on Perceived Social Support
What 600+ studies show about how feeling supported improves health, mood, motivation, and resilience. - 39:35 — Seeing Good Intentions Behind Imperfect Expressions
How to recognize support even when it comes wrapped in quirks, habits, or personality patterns. - 41:14 — Giving Support and Helping Others Feel It
Simple, authentic ways to offer real support — and to help people actually perceive it.
A Meditation: Feeling Already Supported
When life feels unsteady — when anxiety pulls you into the future, when you feel unsupported, or when you’re carrying everything on your own shoulders — it becomes hard to recognize the real stability that’s already here for you. This meditation gently helps you shift out of worry and into the lived, felt experience of being supported: by your breath, your body, the objects around you, and the wider natural world. Through simple awareness, soft thoughts, and heartfelt appreciation, you learn to let the knowing that you’re supported become a feeling that soothes, steadies, and reassures you in the present moment.
Bonus Talk: When Meditation Gets Hard
When meditation stirs up old pain — trauma, childhood wounds, or just the accumulated shocks of life — it can feel overwhelming or unsafe. In this short teaching, I explain why this happens, how to work with both the material that arises and the capacity you bring to it, and how to develop steadiness of mind without pushing yourself into the deep end. You’ll learn practical ways to pendulate, ground, build inner resources, reclaim your own goodness, and use meditation not just to endure difficult experiences, but to gradually heal from them.
