Many of us try to help others the way we want to help — and get tangled in frustration when it doesn’t work. In Mahayana Buddhism, awakening comes through harmonizing compassion, wisdom, and skillful means: feeling with others, seeing clearly, and acting effectively. This talk with guest teacher Michael Gayner explores how these three work together — from a child’s cake story to the deep currents of bodhicitta.
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Talk: How to Be Compassionate and Wise: Lessons from the Mahayana
Timecodes & main topics:
- 02:27 – The Three Pillars of the Mahayana: Compassion (karuṇā), wisdom (prajñā), and skillful means (upāya) as the heart of the Bodhisattva path.
- 05:48 – The Balance of Heart and Clarity: How compassion without wisdom can be heavy, and wisdom without compassion can be cold.
- 07:01 – The Cake Story: Turning from self-focus to generosity — a small act that reveals vast possibility.
- 11:44 – Bodhicitta, the Awakened Heart: How love and wisdom merge into a single, radiant awareness.
- 15:34 – The Four Karmas: Pacifying, enriching, magnetizing, and destroying as modes of compassionate engagement.
- 19:25 – Seeing Through Confusion: How wisdom and delusion arise together and can be transformed.
- 28:04 – The Karma of Destruction: Releasing confusion and righteous anger through presence, apology, and self-awareness.
- 33:56 – Working with Emotions: Turning toward anger or pain with maitri (self-kindness) to unlock clarity.
- 37:40 – Meditation and the Ego: Distraction as insight — learning through boredom and returning kindly to the breath.
- 39:49 – When to Intervene: Acting (or not) from love and presence rather than control or avoidance.
A Meditation: Breathing Through What’s Hard — and Sending Out Love
In this guided Tonglen meditation, Michael Gayner leads you through a simple yet profound practice of breathing in what’s difficult and sending out care and healing. You’ll learn how to stabilize your body and mind, soften around pain, and let compassion arise naturally — for yourself and others. Perfect for anyone navigating conflict, grief, or emotional challenges.
Michael Gayner was the Executive Director of Drala Mountain Center from 2012 to 2023, and has been practicing meditation since the mid-1980s. He has a PhD in Education with a focus on holistic education, and on the intersection of teaching and spiritual practice. Michael is presently serving as the Chief Operating Officer of the Global Compassion Coalition, and has a coaching and consulting practice.
