Life is going to bump into us. People will disappoint us, criticize us, misunderstand us, drop the ball, or sometimes genuinely treat us badly. The question is how to deal with all of that without adding a whole extra layer of suffering by taking it so personally.
So this week, I explored how feeling more secure in your own worth, having healthy boundaries, bringing compassion to yourself, loosening your sense of identity, and even finding your way toward love can help you stay grounded when the winds of life start blowing. You can still stand up for yourself, name what’s true, and protect yourself when you need to — while being less reactive, resentful, and knocked around by what other people do.
Click here to join the free Wednesday Meditations – which are open to everyone!
Talk: 5 Ways to Take Things Less Personally
Time codes & main topics:
- 00:00 — The difference between being a person and the reactive “self”
- 02:47 — Why taking things personally creates suffering — and weakens healthy boundaries
- 04:50 — The canoe and the log: why other people’s behavior often isn’t really about you
- 07:19 — The “second arrow”: how our reactions add suffering to what already hurts
- 11:23 — Build your self-worth so you’re less dependent on other people’s approval
- 16:42 — Healthy boundaries and changing the balance of good vs. bad treatment in your life
- 20:05 — Using self-compassion to get underneath anger, resentment, and grudges
- 24:41 — Loosening your identity, seeing yourself as a process, and responding from love instead of reactivity
A Meditation: Open Awareness, Settling into Stillness
Settle into a sense of being already full and whole, resting in the spaciousness of awareness so you can meet whatever comes with greater steadiness, openness, and love.
