You have a tendency toward
Avoidant Insecure Attachment.
You may feel more comfortable relying on yourself than depending on others, and emotional closeness can feel uncomfortable or even threatening. You might avoid vulnerability, pull back when things get too intense, or keep parts of yourself hidden—even in close relationships.
Why this matters:
Avoidant attachment often develops when caregivers were distant, dismissive, or overwhelmed themselves—so you learned that needing others wasn’t safe, or worth the risk. That kind of self-reliance is adaptive—but over time, it can lead to a sense of isolation and disconnection.
Keep growing by:
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Gently experimenting with closeness: sharing a little more, staying present a little longer.
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Noticing how much relationships do matter to you, even if you protect yourself from them.
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Letting others support you, even in small ways.
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Reminding yourself: “It’s safe to be seen. I can let people in, a little at a time.”
You don’t need to change your nature—you’re likely thoughtful, independent, and capable. But opening just a little more to connection can bring more ease, warmth, and joy into your life.
You Can Feel Safe in Connection—At Your Own Pace
If closeness sometimes feels uncomfortable, or you prefer relying mostly on yourself, you’re not alone. Those patterns once protected you—and you can honor them and choose to grow beyond them.
I’ve created a free email series, Opening to Connection, with simple, practical ways to feel more at ease with closeness, express yourself more fully, and build more satisfying, resilient relationships—at a pace that feels right for you.
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