Restoring Love
Keeping romantic love alive in the midst of raising kids and earning a living is one of the hardest things that anyone can do. By keeping commitments, building a framework and using a variety of tools, you can turn things around.
Foundations of Love
Just parenting itself is very difficult. The larger task of making a family — earning a living, maintaining a marriage, juggling schedules, managing a household, etc. etc. — is even harder. This article explores what to do individually and as a couple to keep the flame of love burning.
Preserving Intimacy with Teenagers
In this column we will explore how parents can nurture an intimacy with their kids that can survive the (usually) wild ride of adolescence.
Caring for Inattention, Restlessness, and Impulsive Behavior
In this column we will discuss things that parents and teachers can do to help children who are inattentive, restless, and impulsive.
Working with Challenging Child Temperaments
Some children are naturally adaptable and cheerful. But many are not, so we’ve put together a package of approaches (on a foundation of loving nurturance and appropriate parental authority) that we’ve seen work in numerous families – many of which are useful for more easygoing kids as well.
Teaching Kids Psychological Skills
In this column, we explore how to teach basic, essential psychological skills that all children need, like being able to let go of upsetting experiences or take in positive ones.
Effective Problem-Solving with Teenagers
In this column we will explore how parents can solve problems, resolve conflicts and stay out of unnecessary fights with their teenagers. That is a large subject, so what follows is a brief summary of ideas that have worked with other families which you should adapt to your own unique situation and values.
The Arc of Desire
A child’s — or grownup’s — wants usually follow a particular path through time that I call an ‘arc of desire.’ Figuring out what a child wants requires understanding that whole arc.
What’s “Optimal” About Frustration?
We base our actions toward children on ideas about their nature and needs and it is important to examine the notion of “optimal frustration,” which means not always giving a child what they want to make them more independent.
Reducing Sibling Rivalry
Our siblings are usually the people we know longest in this life, but it’s striking how many people have distant, even hostile relations with their brothers and sisters. Family tensions related to sibling rivalries wear on parents individually, and sometimes can challenge their marriage – so it’s important to tackle them in steady, systematic ways.
Preventing Adolescence – Well, Sort Of
This column describes the nature of adolescence and a teenager’s underlying positive wants and needs.
When Kids Can’t Have What They Want
How to respond when the wants of parents and children differ is one of The Big Questions of parenting. Things usually go well when parents and kids want the same things — problems start when they don’t! Here are some ways to handle these difficult situations.
What To Do So Your Kids Don’t Stress You Out
We get caught in the swirl when our kids are little, and it’s hard to figure out which parts are normal kid stuff, or discipline issues, or child temperament, or parental stress overload, or couple’s issues – or something else! It really helps to have a simple plan you can keep returning to. Here are ten headlines to help.
Skillful Responses to Child Wants
Skillfully responding to child wants are the foundation of a lifetime of success and satisfaction with our wishes, hopes, and dreams.
Dealing with Summertime Stress
Summertime is also a time when it behooves parents to be really on top of their game in terms of keeping the needle on their personal stress meter out of the red zone. Here are ten great ways to weave stress relief into the fabric of your everyday life.