Ah the holidays, that blessed time of year when we come together with our highly functional family systems to engage in some good, old-fashioned fun.

If that sounded like a joke, this episode of the Being Well Podcast is for you.

Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest Hanson explore how to survive the holidays with the dishes (mostly) intact. They talk about the pull of dysfunctional family systems, our tendency to return to the way things were “back then,” and balancing the desire to flip the Thanksgiving table with the desire to just make it through another year. 

I thought this was one of the most interesting conversations we’ve had recently, and I hope you enjoy it.

Key Topics:

• 0:00: Introduction
• 2:15: What makes the holidays tough?
• 5:45: The gap between who you are now and how your family system interacts with you
• 14:45: Parents yearning for the past, and craving gratitude
• 24:20: Finding agency amidst obligation
• 26:55: The weaponization of morality, and not needing to defend boundaries
• 32:45: Appreciating something about people amidst your struggles with them, and identifying the stakes
• 38:50: Getting through when it’s hard
• 43:30: The tension and ambiguity of wanting to speak up
• 47:00: Resourcing yourself ahead of time, and recognizing what’s in your best interest
• 51:50: Two kinds of grief and loss
• 1:01:40: Recap