Being Well Podcast: How to Deal with a Narcissist with Ramani Durvasula
August 26, 2019

Today we have the pleasure of speaking with a true expert on many of the topics we’ve exploring during our series on “Who Am I?”, including borderline personality disorder, sociopathy, and narcissism: Dr. Ramani Durvasula.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, and expert on the impact of toxic narcissism.  She is a Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, and also a Visiting Professor at the University of Johannesburg.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula has been featured on and even hosted, programming on Bravo, the Lifetime Network, National Geographic, the History Channel, and Oxygen. And she’s also been a featured commentator on nearly every major television network, as well as radio, print, and internet media.

She is the author of Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Relationship With a Narcissist, and DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM? How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement and Incivility.

Today we explored a range of topics with Dr. Ramani including:

  • What distinguishes true NPD from someone just “being a jerk.”
  • Techniques for interacting with “10% narcissists” more effectively.
  • The importance of drawing clear boundaries.
  • The different places narcissism can come from, and the different ways we can interact with different kinds of narcissists.
  • Working with narcissism inside of our cultural framework.


  • 02:01: Where did your interest in narcissism come from?
  • 04:27: The difference between someone who truly has NPD and someone who is just a jerk.
  • 07:05: What is it like to be on the receiving end of someone who’s a narcissist?
  • 09:04: Advice for those in a relationship with someone with narcissistic tendencies.
  • 15:56: The different places narcissism can come from, and the different ways we can respond to each type.
  •  26:41: What can we do to avoid acquiring narcissistic traits, and how can we help our friends manage these traits more effectively?
  •  30:43: Human evolution, social pressure, and narcissism.
  •  41:07: If Dr. Ramani Durvasula could go back in time and tell herself one thing, what would she say?

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