Just as we can exercise our arms or legs to build physical strength, we can exercise our brains like we do any other muscle. On this episode of the Being Well Podcast, Therapist Dr. Amy Morin joins Forrest to help us learn how to regulate our thoughts, manage our emotions, and become more psychologically flexible.
These key skills are particularly important for building a healthy relationship. Forrest and Amy explore how couples can work together to identify their issues, deal with effort imbalances, and avoid common mistakes (like having, get this, not enough conflict).
About our Guest: Dr. Amy Morin is a licensed clinical social worker, bestselling author, and the host of the Mentally Stronger podcast. Her most recent book is 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don’t Do, out on December 26th.
Key Topics:
- 0:00: Introduction
- 1:35: Amy’s personal background, and how she got to the idea of mental strengths
- 7:30: Self-compassion vs. self-pity
- 11:05: Not giving away your power
- 14:50: Diagnosing root problems in relationships
- 18:25: When one frustration brings up all your other frustrations
- 22:25: The inevitability of conflict, and the vulnerability in expressing remorse
- 27:35: Setting the ground rules for a therapeutic conversation
- 31:05: When it feels like your partner isn’t invested in making changes
- 34:50: Learning to deconstruct reactive thoughts and misguided perceptions
- 38:30: Taking your thoughts with a grain of salt, and asking ‘what else might be true?’
- 41:20: Scorekeeping vs. negotiating, and finding ways to meet our own needs
- 45:40: Giving our partner what we actually want for ourselves
- 49:00: Balancing desires for closeness and distance
- 51:15: Not being a martyr or ‘controlling through giving’
- 55:30: Boundaries between partners, and how our backgrounds influence our preferences
- 1:00:35: Developing psychological flexibility
- 1:03:40: Recap
